There’s a change in the air

As I stand here, having made your packed lunches, labels sewn on and bags packed for tomorrow, I can’t believe how far we have come. 

Six months ago, on the day before schools were announced to be closing, I ran round the shops looking for workbooks, craft supplies and absolutely anything and everything I could lay my hands on to keep you all entertained.  I felt a huge sense of responsibility to make this situation ok for everyone.  To keep everyone safe and to keep you all cushioned from the worries that filled my head at night.  We started, like most, with the best intentions for a routine.  Following advice, getting out of our pyjamas and trying to keep things as normal as possible.  But they weren’t.  I felt like we were living in a strange dream.  All the things that we did to busy our day, were cancelled until further notice.  The friends and family that were a huge part of our lives, were shut away inside their houses, waving through the windows.  Daily walks for an hour were something to look forward to. Our garden became a noisy place, the sound of water fights, actual fights and laughter.  Bellyfuls of that.  After a few weeks of trying to keep things under control, I realised that actually this was something so big, it couldn’t be.  We had to surrender to uncertainty and that was the scariest thing.  After tuning in every day for the daily news updates, biting our nails and trying to listen on our phones whilst the kids jumped on the sofas behind us, we stopped watching it.  We closed work books and put down the spelling lists.  We had no way of knowing what was going to happen so we focused on surviving, one day at a time.  We played in the garden, we bounced on the bed, introducing you to our hey day classics, singing along at full volume to your delight.  We baked, we ate and we treated ourselves.  Never had we had so many deliveries! All from a respectable 2 metres away. 

We scootered, we ran (a couple of times at least!), darting into the bushes as we passed others looking just as nervous as ourselves.  Hand sanitiser never too far away! We danced, we listened to music, we read books, we made dens, we watched films and ate too much popcorn.  We painted, we drew pictures and we made lego models.  We fought, we shouted, we screamed at each other.  But we got through it all together. 

The summer holidays, were strange.  Less of our usual day trips and when we did meet friends, it was with cautious smiles, elbow bumps and outside spaces.  But the first hug from my mum and dad, the first breakfast on the beach after lockdown rules started to relax.  The first takeaway coffee and the first walk with friends.  These were utterly amazing. 

VE Day celebrations, Beach walks, rock climbing, birthday celebrations, afternoon strolls along the Tarka Trial, pancakes at Treat Time, rolling down the hill and getting to the top of the mound, hot chocolates with marshmallows, bike rides, park dates, new wetsuits, fort building.  That was it, that was our Summer.  Would I have done things differently? No.  I wouldn’t, I honestly feel like we did the best with what we had.  This year has been one of the scariest but it’s also the year that we found out what was important.  And what we held close to us. 

I know, as you go back to your school routines tomorrow, you will skip in and pick up exactly where you left off.  And that’s exactly as it should be.  But know that the house will be that much quieter without you and that despite having wished for peace, numerous times over the past 6 months, I will be thinking of you throughout the day and will eagerly await pick up time.  Because what I’ve learnt is that family is everything.  Even in the hardest times when patience had run out, craving just a moments peace or breaking up yet another fight and comforting a crying toddler.  It was all still ok because you were all there.

There’s definitely a change in the air as we are about to take the next shaky step forward.   I will follow your footsteps and you can lead the way.