Starting School

As a Reception Class teacher, I would always spend a good week over the Summer holidays preparing the classroom for the children starting school  in September. I had everything going on in the classroom from a life-size cardboard cut-out of Buzz Lightyear in my first class, to repainting the walls, (what I thought was a zingy green but actually turned out to be more of a bogey green!) in the art area.

A new Role Play Area; freshly washed dressing up clothes lovingly hung on a clothes rail; laminated name labels blu-tacked and waiting by gleaming coat pegs; pencils sharpened to within an inch of their life and a freshly shampooed ‘circle time’ carpet hiding a multitude of sins!

It was always super exciting the first day that you welcomed your new class. In my school, there was no Nursery so it really was the children’s very first experience of school. Some children would come in skipping, with barely a backwards glance whilst their parents got all teary, savouring this important moment. Other children would need a bit more encouragement, some bright and colourful activities and a special friend to sit next to.

Whilst I sympathised when I saw parents welling up, I never really understood it. To start with, the children were only in for 3 hours at a time. I thought, that’s barely enough time to go home! Grab a coffee (and cake!) and make the most of it!

When it was my eldest son, Eddie’s turn to start school, I literally couldn’t have felt more different! I dreaded him starting, despite him going to a lovely local primary school and how excited he was. I wasn’t ready. I felt like I hadn’t savoured enough memories, and seeing him in his little smart trousers broke my heart. Obviously, I was very enthusiastic when talking to Eddie about school, chatting excitedly about all the new friends he’d make and amazing things he’d do but inside I felt like crying!

I know there are a lot of people who will be reading this blog whose children are starting school for the first time in September. Obviously, things are different with the impact of Covid but I wanted to reassure you that the thought of your child starting school is infinitely worse than the reality. I literally thought the teachers would have to scrape me off the playground floor and frogmarch me to the gate. In reality, Eddie waved me goodbye with a massive smile on his face, looking all sparkly eyed in his brand spanking new uniform – shiny school shoes and all. I did go for that cake and you know what, I barely had time to drink my tea before going to collect him!

Drawing on my experiences as a teacher and a parent, here’s some top tips to help you and your child to prepare for this special day.

1. Label everything.

Seriously, everything! Even pants! PE classes are well known for getting belongings in a big old muddle! Eddie came out one day after PE with someone else’s trousers on back to front despite this child being a good few inches taller than him and them trailing on the floor. Obviously to a child, every jumper looks the same! (Although I did have one child in my class who could identify his jumper just by smelling his mum’s washing powder). Even the trained eye of a teacher will struggle to read the blurry marker penned initials after the second wash. It’s amazing how many things go missing. And if you’ve got a daughter who wears hair bobbles, buy an en extra 5 packs! Those things have legs of their own! As do water-bottles! Sew-on or iron-on labels, it doesn’t matter just so long as they stick well. And don’t forget to label any new uniform you buy throughout the year, unless you want to be digging around in the lost property box!

2. Talk to your child about them starting school.

It doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic chat, just drop little bits into your everyday conversation. Before Eddie started, every time we drove past his school, I would point it out. We walked the route a few times. We made shopping for his school uniform a big event, getting a celebratory ice cream afterwards! He actually slept with his school shoes in a box on his pillow for a good week before starting school! His excitement levels were unreal! Talking about school in this way, meant that I could easily gauge how Eddie was feeling and could help to spot any worries. If, like me, you’re feeling a bit nervous about your child starting school, talking about it before and making plans about routes, uniforms and lunches can help you focus on all the lovely things your child will experience at school. On the day of the main event, keep the experience as positive and calm as possible. Your child will definitely pick up on your vibe so pop a big smile on your face and your best foot forward. You’ve got this.

3. Playdates with Classmates

If you know other mums whose children are starting school in the same class as your child, it can really help if you can arrange a play-date before the start of term. Your child might know lots of other children in the class already but if, like us, you are new to the setting, it can be a great idea. We made friends with an amazing family whose son was in the same class. It was great for Eddie as when he started school, he saw a familiar face. It was also really good for us, as parents, as we could chat about how we were feeling and remind each other of all the different things and dates we needed to remember! The friends that I have made through Eddie going to school have been amazing and I’m sure we will know each other for many years to come. Going through the highs and lows of parenting means that you get to know each other with supersonic speed! Friends that remind you when World Book Day is and who sub you that pound for the charity cake sale are worth their weight in gold!

4. Make friends with the teaching assistants!

Teaching Assistants are amazing. Fact!

Teachers are obviously amazing too but it takes a very special person to become a teaching assistant. Throughout the day they take on so many roles; helping children to achieve in the classroom; wiping away tears; listening to worries; solving squabbles; handing out plasters; soothing a bumped head; finding the show and tell that’s gone awol; keeping track of the rules of the new version of Duck, Duck, Goose; pretending to be superheroes and locating that hair bobble! Teachers have so many tasks to complete, if you’ve got a question, check with your child’s teaching assistant and I’m sure they’d be very happy to help!

5. Try not to worry!

Easier said than done I know, but from my experience of teaching in schools, the teachers really care about the children in their class and are rooting for them to succeed and to be happy. If you have any concerns or problems, book in to speak to your child’s teacher. Don’t just sit on your worries. Good communication with your child’s teacher is key.

When Eddie started, I knew how busy the classroom would be so I made a little book for him to take in on the first day to show his teacher. I included photos of people in his family and also pictures of some of the activities we had enjoyed over the holidays. This gave his teacher a real head-start on getting to know him, his likes, his dislikes and what made him tick! I also thought that if Eddie was upset throughout the day, his book could be used as a bit of a distraction and a starting point for conversation. All children develop at very different rates so try not to compare notes with other parents. Your child is a wonderful, amazing  and unique individual and will be working on different things to other children in the class. If you do have any concerns, make that appointment to chat to the teacher.

6. Quiet Weeks

Remember, your child (and probably you too!) will be exhausted during the first few weeks of school. A week in, they will realise that school is a ‘thing’ now and may even get a bit teary and emotional. This is completely normal. Going into a new environment, making friends and fitting into new routines is exhausting and that’s without any learning! Do yourself a favour and don’t make any after school plans for that first half term. If your child wants to vege in front of the tv after school, let them! It’s such a big experience and it really is important to have some downtime after a busy day at school.

Don’t worry if your child isn’t very chatty about what they’ve done all day. As a teacher, I lost count of the amount of times I would hear a parent ask ‘what did you do today’ for their child to only reply ‘nothing much’. Aside from donning a pair of tap shoes and putting on a show, I did not know what else we could have packed into our day so I always giggled a bit at that answer. Schools are really good at keeping parents informed about the learning and the topics that the children are working on, so don’t worry too much if your child isn’t very forthcoming.

7. Snacks!

If you, like me, have spent the whole summer preparing and serving endless snacks, I’m sorry to say but it doesn’t end when your child starts school. Eddie’s first words to me out of the classroom are always ‘have you got me a snack?’ Seriously is there anything hungrier than a child at pick-up? I could bring Eddie a full-on three course meal after school and he would wolf the whole thing down before asking for seconds! Always have a snack with you, and don’t get into the habit of bringing a treat every day (unless you want to!) After a couple of days of celebratory Freddos, Eddie’s face when I brought a banana with me was priceless!

I hope those ideas have helped a little. If you are feeling emotional about your child starting school, be kind to yourself. It’s a big step. But it’s also a wonderful one too. PTFA Cake Sales; World-Book Day Events; Non-School Uniform Days; Christmas Concerts and School Fairs – there is so much fun to be had! I will never forget Eddie’s face when he went to his first school disco- beaming with excitement and waving to me across the room, whilst he flossed his way through ‘Everything is Awesome’ with his new besties was EVERYTHING.

So find a mum friend to go eat cake with, and enjoy that cup of tea. It will be pick up time before you know it and everyone knows that the first pick up hug is. the BEST!